Why do You Get Angry & How to Deal With it.
Why do I get angry?
Anger is often the result of unfulfilled desires and expectations. If we have an unfulfilled expectation of a person we become angry and upset. The mind creates the expectation and imagines the fulfillment of the expectation. However, when the person or event does not match the expectation a pressure develops within, and the mind becomes angry.
Further, a person may create too many rules by which another
person should live by. This leads to conflict when the other person does not act in accordance with the predefined rules. Therefore, this strict rule-making leads to anger and can undermine a relationship.
How do I stop getting so angry?
We need to realize that it’s our unfulfilled expectations that make us angry, rather than the other person or event. If we can understand that it’s not the other person who is making us angry, but rather our own way of thinking, then we can change and reduce the adverse effects of anger. A motto to use is, ‘No one annoys or upsets me, but it’s my inability to tolerate or think positively that makes me angry‘. So if we have an inability to tolerate, it can be due to unrealistic expectations that we are holding onto.
When we realise that anger is a by-product of our own way of thinking, then we gain the ability to change the way we think. By taking control of our mind we can also then take control of our life. We can take control of our mind by ordering it to have positive thoughts, and to keep determinedly thinking thoughts like ‘I will not get angry’. When you feel some negative thoughts building in the mind, use a positive affirmation such as “I am a strong and positive person – there is no benefit in allowing my mind to get angry”.
Why do I get angry so often?
We often derive negative thinking patterns from our family, friends, or adolescent and childhood peers. These negative thought patterns become very deeply ingrained in our subconscious and pervade our everyday thinking. We have become very accustomed to them, due to having acquired so many of these negative thought patterns. Thus the
tendency to think negatively becomes established early on in life. Consequently, negative thinking becomes like an addiction. Despite our awareness of its adverse effects upon our mental and physical well-being, we are unable to give up this habitual negative trait. But as the saying goes, ‘you can make the mind your best friend or your worst enemy’. You have the choice what to do today – so decide to make the mind your friend, and learn and install the habit of seeking out the positive.
Anger Management techniques
Recognise what you are feeling as anger.
Decide. Make a decision – you will go with what you know, act the way you know or try something different.
Commit to making a change, commit to controlling anger rather then letting it control you.
Follow through with your commitment, seek help, apply it and be proud that you can manage anger and not allow harm to come to those you love or to yourself.
Some Positive Quotes to keep you going…
In desperate times we rely on hope to bring us the power to stay cheerful and positive.
When we are alone in our hour of darkness we can be comforted by the hope that light is sure to come as the sun will surely rise.
Stop means just that – stop.
Don’t act, talk, or do whatever it is that your first instinct is telling you to do.
Take a breath and realise that no matter what you are feeling: frustrated, hurt, irritated, destructive or sarcastic – you are angry. Recognise that fact and tell yourself that’s ok.
There are three kinds of situation in which we need to learn to be patient:
- When we are experiencing suffering, hardship, or disappointment
- When we are practising Dharma
- When we are harmed or criticized by others
Correspondingly, there are three types of patience:
- The patience of voluntarily accepting suffering,
- The patience of definitely thinking about Dharma
- The patience of not retaliating
These three types of patience do not come easily, and may seem somewhat strange when we first read about them. However, once we understand them clearly and put them into practice sincerely and skilfully, they will liberate our mind from one of its most obsessive delusions and bring great peace and joy. It is therefore worthwhile to persevere in these practices even if initially they may seem unusual or even unnatural.
For more tips, please visit Anger Management Techniques, click here…
You can find more information from this website, which is where some of the material came from to help me help you – http://www.angermanagement.com.au/
Also here is more great information to help you mediate on your anger and successful determine, why you get angry and how to deal with it. http://www.anger-management-techniques.org/anger-management-tips.htm/ I used these techniques and have included them here for you to use, at your own leisure.
For more techniques – please feel free to link to this website – http://www.angermanagementtips.com/techniques.htm as this also another great place to look around and see where I got the material from, as they deserve the credit for the article.
Thank you to the websites that have helped me as I simply want to share with others. You deserve all the credit in the world!