Be a Better You in 365 Days Challenge – DAY 2: Understanding Who Are You?!

This is Day 2 of How to Be a Better You in 365 Days October 2011 Challenge. Check all tasks to date (Overview)

Welcome Everyone! Today is Day 2 of How to Be a Better You in 365 Days October Challenge!

Day 1 was awesome! The moment I settled down to do the task with a cuppa, my fingers flexed and thinking cap on… I immediately went online to check how everyone was doing with the tasks. I am absolutely overwhelmed with what I saw.

The reception has been incredible .INCREDIBLE. We’ve received so many people checking out the challenge, following through with the tasks and I cannot express how grateful I am that you (my readers) are following and wanting to learn about what’s happening on our blog.

I’m incredibly excited for all of us, because I see an exciting journey ahead for the next month. We’re going to be doing many different tasks that will help you to be a better YOU, linked with what you’ve written for Day 1′s task – which serves as the foundation platform for your growth.

Thank you to those of you who made the effort to read others’ results and post helpful responses to their replies. It’s because of people like you, with the kindest of hearts and the most selfless intentions that others can grow. For those who have received replies, take time out to process and digest what others have written. At the same time, make a point to return the favour – look for the person’s comment that shares his/her results, and share your thoughts too. This is how mutual, supportive friendships are formed.

That said, let’s now move to Day 2 of 365 Day Challenge

Day 2: Understanding Who You Are

Ensure you’ve officially signed up for the course and you’ve done DAY 1 Task:  Realisation – Who Are You?!  before you continue on to today’s task.

Today’s task will take about 45 min to an hour.

Yesterday, we assessed ourselves earnestly. We had look at the CCI, on how we saw ourselves against our ideal self. We explored ourselves thoroughly, looking deep and sieving through the traits deep inside of us in the process. What did you find?

Last but not least, we identified 5-7 traits which we want to work on, moving ahead.

All of us wrote down different traits. Abrasiveness. Desire for approval. Being quick to judge others. Laziness. Selfishness. Poor time management. Procrastination. Low confidence. Being critical. Being negative. Emotional stinginess. Self-hate. Being fearful. Being high strung. Shyness. Anti-social. Aloofness. Skepticism. Cynicism. Arrogance. Insecurity. Lack of self-discipline. Indecisiveness. Being disorganized. Weak communication skills. Judgmental. Presumptuous. Greedy. Self-centeredness. Impatience. Lack of focus.

While we maybe not proud of those traits, it’s important that they acknowledge them first and foremost, which is the point of yesterday’s last step of the exercise. Because awareness is the first step towards growth. If we continue to refuse the acknowledgement of a certain trait, say lieing, we can never improve in that area, even if we are the biggest liar out there today.

So what do we do with these negative traits, after identifying them?

Firstly, I want you to know that you shouldn’t reject them or store them away. Meaning –Say you have that you are lazy, self-conceited, and disorganized.  Rather than hate these, traits about yourself, and beat yourself up about them, accept that you have these. We are creatures of habit. Learn to accept them. Embrace them. Accept that these make up who you are currently, and these are not things you’re proud of.

The reason why I mentioned that is because resistance will only cause internal conflict, which prevents you from truly improving. The age old saying of “What you resist will persist” is very true in this case. The more you deny that you are X trait, say, lazy, the lazier you’ll become. The more you deny that you’re self-conceited, the more self-conceited you’ll become. And the more you deny that you’re disorganized, the more disorganized you’ll be. And so on. Denying does not solve the problem – it only makes you think that the problem disappears, but it will make it worse over a period of time.

What should we do about our negative traits? The first step is to understand them. Understand why we think we possess this X trait. Understand why this trait bothers us so, so that we have a clear reason for change. Then from there, have an immediate plan to change things around.

Which is what we’re doing for today’s task. Today, we’ll look into our undesired traits, such that we can begin the first step to becoming a better us.

Your Task: Understanding Who Are You?!

From the list of 5-7 traits you wrote on DAY 1: Realisation – Who Are You?!

  1. I ask that you pick 3 key traits you want to work on this month.
    • Write down the 3 traits on your paper.
    • For example, if you have biggest issues with being presumptive, being fearful of taking action, and being fearful of criticism, your 3 traits will probably look like this: (1) Presumptuousness (2) Fear of taking action (3) Fear of criticism.
  2. Feel free to pick more than 3 if you want! 3 is the minimum.
  3. Rank them in order of 1-3, with #1 being the top trait you want to work on.
  4. Starting with the first trait, answer the following:
  1. Why do you think you are <insert trait>?
  2. Why do you want to change this trait?
  3. What is one baby step you can do today to change this?
    • Taking an example for Presumptuousness:
    • Why am I <presumptuous>? Because I think I know better than others. I often assume things about other people (and events), which later turn out to be untrue. I judge people based on certain actions they do, even though these actions may not be indicative of their full character/personality.
    • Continuing from example on Presumptuousness:
    • Why do I want to change this trait? Because it causes issues, such as having conflicts with people, creating unhappiness in others, assuming things only to realize they are wrong later on, and so on. These are things I want to avoid, because they are unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. They create problems which can be avoided if I’m not presumptuous in the first place.
    • Continuing from example on Presumptuousness:
    • What is 1 baby step I can do today to change this? I will ask more questions rather than assume things – i.e. going by the motif of “When in doubt, ask”. I’ll give others the benefit of the doubt even if things go wrong. I’ll start to think positively, rather than negatively, of everyone I see today.
  • Repeat step #3 for the other 2 traits.
  • Schedule the action steps (your answers to step #3.3) in your August calendar.
    • Do this if the steps cannot be actioned on today.
    • This ensures what you plan gets translated into reality and commits you to action.

Again, feel free to write as much as you want! The more, the better.

Day 2 Reflection

  1. Is there anything you learned today?
    • This can be about yourself, other people, or other things in life.
    • This can be related/unrelated to the task, inspired by answers by other participants, inspired by the discussions in the community, due to something that happened in your life today that’s outside of 30BBM.
  2. If so, what is it? Write it down.

Share Your Answers!

What are the top 3 traits you want to work on? Why do you want to change these traits? What are you going to do to change them?

Share your answers with the others in the comments area! Check out others’ comments and share your thoughts!

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15 thoughts on “Be a Better You in 365 Days Challenge – DAY 2: Understanding Who Are You?!

  1. We say in Finnish: Tervetuloa kaikille! (Welcome Everyone!)
    Today is the second day in the challenge. How is everyone doing? I can say that I am ‘still’ excited about the challenge and looking forward to everyday on what is next and what the challenge/task will be.

    Now onto the task for today: Understanding Who Are You
    1. Write down your 3 or more traits, you want to work on this month.
    a) Being Grateful
    b) Being Organised
    c) Balanced
    d) Procrastination
    e) Being Disciplined
    f) Being Focused

    2. Pick 3 traits you want to work on this month.
    I have choose 4 this month and they are:
    – Grateful
    – Procrastination
    – Focus
    – Organised

    3. Rank them in order of 1-4, with #1 being the top trait you want to work on.
    1. Focused
    2. Procrastination
    3. Organised
    4. Grateful

    4. Why do you think you are ?
    Sometimes, I find myself slipping away especially when motivation lacks or someone tries to down me or put me off on doing something. And even I can talk myself out of something even though its achievable or takes time to achieve. I desire a rock solid focus.
    Why do you want to change this trait?
    I want to change this trait from being unfocused to being energetically focused – it will put things into prospective for me but also give me clearer direction and purpose in life. It is how I run. Its a core belief I have. I believe being focused and driven will give you results say; if you have a garden and you plant herbs you need to take of them otherwise they will not grow and bloom into something bigger than themselves.
    What is one baby step you can do today to change this?
    Write out a plan on how to be focused, giving rewards and look into doing martial arts again as that is one way I was able to stay focus because it also gave me discipline.

    Why do you think you are ?
    I have a fear of success that IF I did succeed in this I am fearful of the results hence I off-put things and procrastinate. I do procrastinate on somethings, not everything but I do run out of time to do other tasks that are important and may/may not need to be put-off. This for me is a two sided-coin.
    1. I procrastinate because I really don’t want to do it.
    2. I procrastinate out of fear of success.
    Why do you want to change this trait?
    This is what is holding me back: procrastination and fear of success.
    What is one baby step you can do today to change this?
    Ask myself: Do you really want to be successful? And, get things done without thinking about them – don’t self talk!

    Why do you think you are ?
    Occasionally, I feel lost with what I have to do and how to achieve it. I get bored and move onto something else worth my time. I believe I should always a have some sort of plan in place like: what I should be doing, where I am going, who I am meeting today, what are my goals and so forth…
    Why do you want to change this trait?
    I want to change being unogranised to being better organised. I enjoy being organised and punctual especially if I am holding events or helping with running events. It makes me feel alive, being purposeful and having direction/meaning in life. Its a core belief of mine to be oraginsed – not too overpowering otherwise I will be a control and orgainsed freak!
    What is one baby step you can do today to change this?
    Sit down and look at my organiser and see where I can structure my day better and work out the length of time it takes me to do one task at a time etc.

    Why do you think you are ?
    I feel that I forget to take a minute and be grateful for what I have, given or shared to others and myself. I forget to be mindful that everything could be taken away from me at any given time and I should be grateful.
    Why do you want to change this trait?
    I desire to be grateful and give more. Being grateful is apart of being successful but its always nice to show appreciation and gratification to others same as being compassionate to others. I was grateful but over time things have shaped me to being not always grateful. Being grateful is important.
    What is one baby step you can do today to change this?
    I could write ‘thank you’ notes to the important people in my life but also the ones that have touched me in someway or another. 🙂

    Reflection: Is there anything you learned today?
    I believe I have learnt that I’m escalating my issues and realising they are not as big or difficult as I once thought (in the beginning). Now, I have more awareness of them and I have a visual picture in my head on: how to change them immediately so I can move on and enjoy life and its wonderful benefits. 🙂

    How did you go? What are your traits? Did you learn anything from this task?

    All the best,
    Ezzy 😉

  2. Why am I? – Disorganized. I feel like this is just in my genes. I’ve been disorganize since I was little. I’ve tried many to organize my house/life/family and I feel it’s too much work to keep up with.
    Why I want to change? – I feel if I was organized my day would go much smoother. My home would be in order and I think I’d feel more at peace.
    Baby step? – Put away laundry.
    Why am I?- Lazy. Growing up my mom did everything for me. I didn’t have to do ANYTHING. Breakfast was ready every morning and supper every night. If given a chore and I didn’t want to do it she would do it. As I got older she tried to make me do things and I went to my dad’s where I was told I shouldn’t have to do it. I also get depressed and find it very hard to get off the couch sometimes … I wonder why clean when the house is going to be a mess. Somedays I just feel completely drained … If I could just refuel I think I’d be able to get going.
    Why I want to change? – I want to change to be a better wife and mother. I feel horrible that my husband works so many hours and then has to come home and do his own laundry (work clothes). I also feel like I rely on my daughter too much.
    Baby step – Set an hour for TV/Computer
    Why am I?- Mean. I get mean when I’m hungry, rushed, tired, around my period.
    Why I want to change?- I want to be a better person. I want my family to not feel like they are always walking on egg shells. I want myself as well as my family to feel at peace.
    Baby step – Try taking a time out when I feel upset.
    ***I’m saving my more in depth answers on Word so I’ll be able to look back and see how/if I’ve grown.

    1. Hi Elizabeth,

      Thank you for sharing with us your comments Elizabeth. 🙂

      Congratulations you are onto Day 2 of the 365 Challenge. KUDOS!!! I am so happy for you that you taking this challenge on and looking to future. I appreciate you being open and expressing yourself. Thank you for being you!

      I agree with about being disorganised and feeling that it’s too much work to keep up. I ask myself these two questions, “Am I doing too much?” and “Do I need to ask for help because it’s too much for me to handle?” I speak out when things are building up and I raise my hand and say: ‘I need help.’ Help will always come your way – it doesn’t matter where it comes from as long as it comes for anywhere!

      I was looking at your answers Elizabeth about your baby steps – they are fantastic! Just one little change/step can go along way… How did this make you feel? Did you feel you accomplished something?

      I grew up in a family where it was always work 9-5, pay the bills, work, work, work and more work. We kids had to do our own laundry, iron and put away in our cupboards. I remember Mum and Dad standing at my bedroom door watching me put my clothes way so they knew we weren’t just stuffing them away or under the bed.

      Everyone has a different approach to life. I grew up being independent and responsible but reserved – in away we said our pleases and thank you’s so forth.

      I believe Elizabeth you are on journey of transformation and you will become a better wife, a better mother and a better person. You will feel alive, loved, and joyful and fulfilled.

      Advice: If you ever feel guilty about what you are doing, you have the power to change what is in your world. You have the power of thought.

      * Remind yourself everyday Elizabeth: “I want to be a better person. I want my family to not feel like they are always walking on egg shells. I want myself as well as my family to feel at peace.”

      * Use word or some type of journal to express yourself and let it follow…

      All the Best,
      ♥ Ezzy ♥

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