Be a Better You in 365 Days Challenge – DAY 28 Getting Advice

This is Day 28 of How to Be a Better Person in 365 Days (365 Challenge) October 2011 Challenge. View list of tasks: 365 Challenge Overview

Welcome to Day 28 of “How to Become a Better Person in 365 Days Challenge” (365 Challenge)!

Generosity – The habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return. It can involve offering time, assets or talents to aid someone in need. – From Wikipedia

I believe yesterday was the most hardest and challenging day of “How to Be a Better Person in 365 Days” Challenge. Normally I am charitable, generous, kind-spirited, loving and compassionate. Yesterday… I had zilch in the tank. No fluffy bunny in the wardrobe. No hug to give, just plan boring me without my Jazz. Do you ever feel like your tank is running on empty but you are still running the race? Yep – I am positive you have had this experience before:  running on all cylinders with no gas. So, if you were unable to give generously, give it all your best today and make the most of yesterdays and today’s task. 🙂

Today, we will be getting some advice. I wonder if I could use the advice today by visiting a close friend. If you are catching up with someone today, ensure it is with someone who you can trust, value their opinions/advice and someone who will give you the honesty of answers.

Day 28 – Ask Someone for Advice

What is the top priority goal you’re working on right now

  •  Losing weight?
  • Making $X income, daily, weekly or monthly?
  •  Quit your J.O.B to set up an online business?
  • Increase web traffic to your site(s)?
  • Build muscle and become toned?
  • To write a book?
  • To improve relationships with the important people in your life?
  • Find ‘that’ love life you deserve?

Do you feel like you know all the answers to achieving this goal? Do you feel like you know what it takes to excel in it?

I quote, Celes, Personal Excellence Blog;

“I firmly adhere to the philosophy that all of us have the answers to everything we seek in life, and that all the answers to what we look for lie inside us (hence the self-reflective vs. instructive nature of the articles in PEB), I also think it’s extremely important to look towards the external world for insights – such as speaking to people who have achieved said goals before, identifying and analysing success cases, drawing learning’s from others, comparing to identify areas of improvement, filling up our knowledge pool, etc.”

Believe it or not, the fact is that we’ve not achieved our goals merely means our puzzle has a piece missing. Sure, we often say that ““it’s because I don’t have enough time” or “I’m too busy” or “there are other things on my plate right now” or “I’ll be able to achieve this once I have A, B and C”, but the very fact that we don’t have enough time/A/C or whatever it is that we state as the excuse/reason is the very evidence that we are actually not able to achieve the goal right now”” ~ quoted Celes.

Because we’re able to make reasons, excuses and put-offs, we are human after all. Honestly, even if we achieved those goals long ago, there is no need to continuously drag out it till today, tomorrow, next month and so forth for citing the same reasons all day long.

If we introduce new perspectives to mind, particularly perceptive of people who have achieved the exact goals we want to attain, we move ourselves forward in our goal achievement process. These people we’re referring to are already in that right state of mind – that consciousness level that has enabled them to overcome past obstacles and achieve the same goal.

In line with the theme of 365 Challenge on being a better person, recognizing that we don’t know everything (at this moment), opening ourselves to different perspectives, willingly seeking advice from others, and applying advice from others – all these are part and parcel of being a better person.

Your Task: Ask Someone for Advice

  1. Pick the most important goal you’re working on now.
  2. Identify at least 3 people you know who’ve attained this goal before and/or are living this goal as we speak.
    • These are the people whom you would want to approach for advice.
    • It can be people you know or don’t know, but is able to reach out to if needed. (e.g., a friend’s friend; someone else in the industry, an acquaintance)
    • The reason why I mentioned people who have attained the goal, is because everyone can have opinions, but it’s ultimately the opinions of those who have been there, done that, whom you want to solicit. Getting untargeted advice will only add noise to the system and slow you down in achieving your desired results.
  3. Approach at least 1 of them today. Give him/her some background about what you’re doing (in the context of this goal), then ask him/her for advice on your goal. Questions to ask include:
    • How did you achieve this goal?
    • How long did it take, and what was the result?
    • What were the key difficulties you faced in achieving this goal, and how did you overcome them?
    • What key tips do you have for me?

Tips on how to approach this task:

  1. Use more formal mediums over casual ones. Do it via phone call, email, or in person. Ideally – use more formal mediums for the communication, because the more casual the medium, the poorer the quality of feedback you’ll get. (i.e. if you use Facebook or Twitter, likelihood is you’re going to get short, uninformative replies that are not actionable.)
  2. Don’t overthink the process.
    • Many of you will probably think “Oh this person is too busy”, “I’ll wait till this person is available” or “Today isn’t a good day to do this”. Here’s what – stop overthinking the task. Just approach the person today and let him/her know your questions OR at the very least, schedule a proper meet-up session sometime in the week.
    • For example, I’m used to just firing 4-5 emails each time, calling different people immediately or just approaching people around me right away to get perspective on the most important goal on my list – and at least 50% of the time I get very handy insights which I can then reapply into my goal straight away. We’re not talking about a 1-hour long discussion – the exchange would probably take no longer than 15 minutes. It’s to get lead, top-line insights that will help you as you move ahead in your goal.
  3. Challenge yourself – Approach as many people as you can. You are perfectly welcome to approach all 3 (or more) people today! The more you approach, the more insights you get, the faster you can progress in your goal!

Day 28 Reflection for 365 Challenge

  1. Is there anything you learned today?
  2. If so, what is it? Write it down.

Share Your Feedback!

What goal did you select? Who are you approaching to get advice on this goal? How was the advice shared?